Engineers Jokes...

A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were all given a red rubber
ball and told to find the volume.
The mathematician carefully measured the diameter and evaluated a triple
integral.
The physicist filled a beaker with water, put the ball in the water, and
measured the total displacement.
The engineer looked up the model and serial numbers in his red-rubber-ball
table.




What's the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons.
Civil engineers build targets.




Three men: a project manager, a software engineer, and a hardware engineer
are helping out on a project. About midweek they decide to walk up and down
the beach during their lunch hour. Halfway up the beach, they stumbled upon
a lamp. As they rub the lamp a genie appears and says "Normally I would
grant you three wishes, but since there are three of you, I will grant you
each one wish."
The hardware engineer went first. "I would like to spend the rest of
my life living in a huge house in Bukit Gomak with no money worries." The
genie granted him his wish and sent him on off to Bukit Gomak.
The software engineer went next. "I would like to spend the rest of
my life living on a huge yacht cruising the Mediterranean with no
money worries." The genie granted him his wish and sent him off to the
Mediterranean.
Last, but not least, it was the project manager's turn. "And what
would your wish be?" asked the genie.
"I want them both back after lunch" replied the project manager.




How engineers do it...Engineers do it with precision.
Electrical engineers are shocked when they do it.
Electrical engineers do it on an impulse.
Electrical engineers do it with large capacities.
Electrical engineers do it with more frequency and less resistance.
Electrical engineers do it with more power and at higher frequency.
Mechanical engineers do it with stress and strain.
Mechanical engineers do it with less energy and greater efficiency.
Chemical Engineers do it in fluidized beds.
City planners do it with their eyes closed.
Petroleum engineers do it with lubrication.
Reservoir engineers do it thorougly and with lot of simulation.
Drilling engineers do it with smooth penetration aided by lubrication,
frequent short wiper tripps, and at the end slug is pumped before they pull out.


Pick-Up Lines to use on Engineering Chicks
I won't stop bugging you until I get the address of your home page.
Let's convert our potential energy to kinetic energy.
Wanna come back to my room and see my 166mhz Pentium?
How about you and I go back to my place and form a covalent bond?
You're sweeter than glucose.
We're as compatible as two similar Power Macintoshes.
Wanna see the programs in my HP-48GX?
Your body has the nicest arc length I've ever seen.
You're hotter than a bunsen burner set to full power!
My love for you is like a concave up function because it is always increasing.



The wireless telegraph is not difficult to understand. The ordinary
telegraph is like a very long cat. You pull the tail in New York, and it
meows in Los Angeles. The wireless is the same, only without the cat.

"Let's convert our potential energy to kinetic energy."

Like this phrase..

How about you and I go back to my place and form a covalent bond?

erkz........that sound scary..muahaha..n way no joke for software engineer ka??

~~What's the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons.
Civil engineers build targets.~~


kasar sungguh lawak ni....

kasar2 buah je.... hehehe

ayat2 nk takel awek dr dak2 engineer yg nerd...
'' I think that we have a molecule attraction that i think we should make a new covalent bond between us like proton and neutron in a molecule..''

how that's???haha

Last, but not least, it was the project manager's turn. "And what
would your wish be?" asked the genie.
"I want them both back after lunch" replied the project manager.

lol...y want to spoil their wish!!!

lyk most of the jokes!nice 1