5 Actions For Successful Relationships

by Admin on Sun Apr 26, 2009 10:32 am

Couples that have a very good relationship are not just lucky.
Successful, loving relationships do not just happen. The couples that
have loving relationships are taking specific actions that people in
unsuccessful relationships are not taking.

ACTION 1 - KINDNESS TO SELF AND OTHER

Think for a moment about how you go through your day. Are you
focused on what you don’t like in yourself or your partner? Do you
spend much of your thinking time judging yourself or your partner? Or,
do you make the spiritual attribute of kindness to yourself and others,
including your partner, your highest priority?

People in successful relationships treat themselves and their
partner with kindness – kind words, kind actions, kind looks, kind
listening, and kind thoughts. It is far more important to them to be
kind than to try to control their partner with anger, judgment,
criticism, irritation, blame, resistance or withdrawal.

ACTION 2 - PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR FEELINGS

People in loving relationships do not make their partner
responsible for their feelings. When they feel angry, hurt, anxious,
depressed, resentful, irritated, guilty, or shamed, they look within at
their own thoughts and behavior that may be causing their painful
feelings. They do not see themselves as victims of their partner’s
choices. Rather, they learn how to manage their own feelings without
dumping their upset on their partner. When they can’t manage their own
feelings, they get the help they need rather than dump anger, blame,
anxiety or depression onto their partner.

ACTION 3 - ORGANIZATIONAL RESPONSIBILITY

People in successful relationships take responsibility for managing
their time and space in ways that work for themselves and their
partner. They make sure they have enough time with each other to talk,
learn, resolve conflict, play and make love. The make sure they have
time with children, time for chores, time for work and time for
relaxation. They take care of their mutual living spaces in ways that
respect their partner’s needs. If one partner tends to be neat and the
other messy, they both strive to make their living environment pleasant
for both of them rather than either of them complying, controlling, or
resisting. Because their highest priority is kindness to themselves and
each other, they are motivated to discover ways of living together that
meets both of their needs.

ACTION 4 - FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY

Successful couples make sure that they not only earn enough to
support themselves, but they learn how to manage their money in ways
that do not create stress for themselves or their partner. They decide
mutually if both of them will work or not. Partners in loving
relationships do not unilaterally decide to stop working and live off
the other person. Nor does either partner make unilateral financial
decisions that have a negative effect on the other partner.

In successful relationships, one partner does not spend money in
such as way as to create stress for the other person. Loving partners
mutually decide on their budget and then both of them stick to it.

ACTION 5 - HEALTH AND WELLBEING

When two people care deeply about themselves and each other, they
strive to take care of their physical health. Loving partners do not
behave in ways that cause their partner to fear for their wellbeing.
They do not take unnecessary risks, such as riding a motorcycle without
a helmet, or participating in activities that could harm their eyes
without wearing goggles. They don’t drink and drive. They eat well, get
enough exercise, and don’t smoke. People in loving relationships do not
want their partner to suffer the grief of their loss through premature
illness, so they strive to take good care of themselves – partly out of
caring for themselves, and partly out of caring for their partner.

Once again – successful relationships don’t just happen. They are
the result of each person taking physical, emotional, financial,
organizational, and spiritual responsibility within their relationship.

Cited from Buzzle